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I THINK, THEREFORE I BLOG. THOUGHTS ARE OBVIOUSLY MY OWN.
Disclaimer: This book is a lot, and these thoughts are my own. Like many other literary works, some things within are open for interpretation. The All About Love Series is my personal take on this piece of work by bell hooks. I won't be sharing my thoughts on the entire book, but I do think its worth sharing the pieces that resonate the most with me. chapter 10: romanceWho are we to each other in our dreams, and who are we when we wake up? Are we ideas? Are we representations of things we long for? Are we fairytales reincarnated and brought to life? Who are we to our romantic partners and who are they to us? Remember, love is the place where care, commitment, trust, knowledge, responsibility, and respect all coexist, as bell hooks stated. Our relationship with these things starts in infancy, and for some of us, we never receive them all. So, when one of these things is lacking in our lives, we try to replace it with romance. Both men and women treat romantic relationships like opportunities for redemption - a chance to fill a void - an opportunity to be saved. But, romantic relationships are so much more than that; they are simple, yet complex. They have the ability to uncover, create, and allow the true form of being. Let's get into it. ChoiceOne of my favorite songs is Int'l Players Anthem by UGK and Outcast. It's playing at my wedding; that's how much I love that song. But, on the subject of choice, the song is a rap rendition of the beauty of choice in romantic relationships. Let me remind you that love is a choice, and choosing a romantic partner - someone with whom to spend the rest of your life and create life with - is one of the most intimate and important decisions in your life. There is intense beauty in being chosen in this way. Many people long to feel chosen, whether it be due to the absence of some aspect of love or pure desire, men and women want to be chosen. The poetry of it all. One day, generations will talk about the love and romance that brought two people together who made a choice. With this choice, we see elements of love. We see responsibility. We see commitment. commitment Commitment in romantic relationships is unique because that is the one relationship that you are bound to by choice and choice only - unless you're in an arranged marriage (and in that case, I cannot help you!). When the love is true, commitment takes a new form. It goes beyond consistency. In true love, as bell explains, committed people are open to being changed, undone, seen, and exposed by their beloved. There is a certain level of vulnerability associated with allowing someone to truly see you and giving them permission to change you, but commitment in true love will bring the unbelievable out of people. This goes back to my earlier questions, who are we to each other in our dreams and when we wake up? Are we committed to taking the good and the bad? Commitment means being okay when the shoulders get cold or when the chicken wasn't taken out of the freezer in time, and that's because commitment trumps any sense of minor discomfort. It's that major. Ask yourself -> Do I love you because you exist? It is conditional or is it connection? connectionConnection is my favorite. In romantic relationships, we are sometimes drawn to people and we have no idea why. We weren't looking for them - they just appeared. We didn't ask them to "check all the boxes" - they just did. But, I think that's it. Sometimes we are just meant to be connected, and souls in love will find each other. There are heart connections, and there are soul connections, according to bell. Heart connections aren't difficult to make. With connections of the heart, we're attracted to things like their style, the way they think, and of course the way they look. Heart connections allow us to "appreciate those we love just as they are". Can love come from a heart connection? Absolutely. With soul connections, there is a deeper level of connection and mutual recognition - we see them and love them for who they could be and who we could become under their influence. It's like saying, "I trust my connection to you. I trust what our connection can become and what it can bring". sweet loveRomantic relationships are the most unique. These bonds are formed through choice, not duty or obligation. Who are we to each other? What does embarking on love with you mean for me? Am I safe here? Am I seen here? Am I heard here? No matter how stubborn we are about romantic love, we all want it. We know true love exists, and we know that anything that doesn't feel right feels like settling. I don't think I have enough words to describe romantic love as I see it. I know it's suffocating but in a good way. It's tender. It's sweet. Romantic love is about the intangible - the things you can't see, but you feel so deeply. As long as we are afraid of these feelings, we will struggle to know love. So, feel.
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AuthorI write. I blog. I research. I read. Thoughts are obviously my own. <3 Archives
May 2024
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