BLOG
I THINK, THEREFORE I BLOG. THOUGHTS ARE OBVIOUSLY MY OWN.
Is thirty really that crazy that I haven’t blogged since my birthday? Life has been "lifing", but on the bright side, I’ve been living it too. Since I haven’t blogged in ages, I wanted to catch my faithful readers up on what’s new and cool in my world. I’m typically a stickler for things being in chronological order, but we’re switching it up a bit today! Work with me. 40 Under 40 Last year I received the honor of a lifetime - this year I was able to celebrate it. After nomination, application, and verification [ LOL ] I was selected as one of Jackson State University’s Top 40 Under 40 distinguished alumni, making history as a member of the ALPHA cohort. Not only that, I was to share that space with 6 other initiates of thee Glamorous Gamma Rho Chapter. Pretty girls by 40!! Imposter Syndrome beats ya girl black and blue. Just when I think I don’t belong in a room, someone or something reminds me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. So grateful for the work that I do and all the legacy I get to create. P.S. - I got a nice little feature in our alumni magazine. Love that for me! Arizona When I turned 28, I decided that “big” birthday celebrations weren’t my thing. I no longer wanted to manage people or their expectations, nor did I want to deal with the disappoint of people not showing up for me. Instead, I wanted to be able to plan an itinerary to my liking and my liking only and cross everything off my list. So, for 30, I chose to go to Arizona with one of my best friends, and I had a blast. AZ is full of mountains and cacti, and it pretty much looks like a postcard. I landed in Phoenix and decided on The Scott Resort and Spa for my weekend stay. The vibe at the hotel was vintage, Cuban, and mature. The downside? Taking the stairs to get to my room. Other than that, Arizona was a vibe. I had an amazing spa treatment at La Viddora, visited the Hole in the Rock after being rescued by a park ranger since I forgot water, had dinner at Cala and Toca Madera [ great food by the way ], cruised in a 1956 Chevy Bel-Air, and took a late night dip in the resort’s pool. 10/10 Work Tings When emails, Zoom, and the day to day gets mundane, we make room for conference season! "Tis the season for taking initiative". Even though I have no major desire to be in a classroom, being around students reminds me why I got into education to begin with. In October, I had the opportunity to present at the annual Career and Technical Student Organizations (CTSO) conference for the state of Mississippi. These young people were full of ideas, and I thoroughly enjoyed my session with them. However, they seemed to have missed a joke I told - like blank stare missed. Am I... the [ old ] lady with the corny jokes in the room?? Being in Higher Ed provides me the opportunity to network and collaborate with practitioners across the state of Mississippi and beyond, and one of my fave spaces to do that in is the annual WHEMN conference. I have to say The University of Mississippi really outdid themselves this year with the speakers, conference goodies, and attention to detail. No notes. I even won a door prize - that never happens! [ LOL ]. Following the conference, I purchased a book, "50 Questions Inclusive Leaders Ask" by Dr. Alexandria White and Diane Johnson Flynn after listening to Dr. White speak. Check it out. I wrapped up conference season at home base with the Statewide Data Conference discussing AI and Higher Education. I always have a little anxiety about speaking in front of people, but I really got on the mic and flowed like Meg at a cipher. Presenting and speaking is really my jam, and I’m glad I got the opportunity to do that a few times this year. The best part of SDC was a colleague of mine, who I met before obtaining my doctorate, coming to find me after the presentation. I was so excited to see her, since Covid kept us apart, and she was excited to call me "Dr. Stokes". We hugged and she told me how proud of me she was. I needed that. That’ll be a core memory for sure. Costa Rica “Pura Vida”! I recently traveled to Costa Rica with some of my best girls to see one of my favorite people jump the broom with her groom. I think I can consider myself a travel girlie now [ LOL ] this is my world! Dreams Las Mareas was a breathtaking all-inclusive resort. Great food. Amazing service. Beautiful views. Mimosas at 9am and unlimited passionfruit margs is my kind of carrying on, and I carried! I love seeing the world with my people, trying new things, and crossing off my list of “firsts”. We had a little trouble in paradise with a speed boat and a little van, BUT WE MADE IT! Definitely a [ but did you die ] moment. Let’s just say I know my granny’s prayers carry me, okay?! All in all, Costa Rica is the perfect travel destination for people who want to sit back, relax, and soak up the vibes. A lot of the resorts are like Dreams, secluded and peaceful with entertainment options for every type of traveler. Would I go again? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z. It’s been a minute since I’ve blogged or updated my website, so this life update is right on time. I've had the opportunity to experience so much over the last couple of months, highs and lows; the lows prepare us for the highs and the highs make us appreciate the lows.
In the midst of showing up for other people, I decided to show up for myself and give my website and blog a refresh. This is like my [ virtual happy place ] - so welcome! While you’re here, take a look around, read up, explore, inquire, whatever floats ya’ boat. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. If you skimmed a little, thank you too! Until next time!
0 Comments
Today, I turned 30.
The big three-oh. The “landmark” age. Hey girl, it’s me. I’m here. I wondered how I’d feel when thirty came around. I wondered for a while, actually. As a woman, the idea of aging can feel uncomfortable. All this biological clock talk and pressure to experience your “best years”. It’s weird and it's everywhere. But today, I feel good. I feel confident. I feel like Beyoncé on Schoolin' Life - and if you don't get that reference.... oh honey. Somewhere along the way, someone created this idea that women expire. Women are taught that they must become mothers, wives, or the president before they’re 30 or they’ve wasted their time and talents. What a misconception that is. Just like a fine wine, the expensive kind, I feel like I'm only getting better with time. Today, I turned 30. At thirty, I get to experience what a blessing it is to age. At thirty, I get to experience a better version of myself and the life that I’ve created. At thirty, I get to reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly that led me here. At thirty, I get to make more money and spend more money too! Today, I turned 30. At thirty, I get to experience the "before and after". I get to see the payoff from all of the hard work. I get to make my own rules and move to the beat of my own drum. Although I was already doing this (IYKYK), there's something more unapologetic that comes with it at this big age lol. At thirty, I get to stand in my grandiose confidence and femininity. At thirty, I feel grown. Today, I turned thirty. At thirty, I’m wiser, finer, healthier, happier, wealthier - better. At thirty, I’m her. Still her. Been her. Happy Birthday to all the '93 babies, especially the ladies. Tell the bottle girls to bring out champagne! Cheers to a new decade of everything our hearts desire. Today, I turned thirty. Thank you God. written 08/28/2023 Disclaimer: This book is a lot, and these thoughts are my own. Like many other literary works, some things within are open for interpretation. The All About Love Series is my personal take on this piece of work by bell hooks. I won't be sharing my thoughts on the entire book, but I do think its worth sharing the pieces that resonate the most with me. chapter 10: romanceWho are we to each other in our dreams, and who are we when we wake up? Are we ideas? Are we representations of things we long for? Are we fairytales reincarnated and brought to life? Who are we to our romantic partners and who are they to us? Remember, love is the place where care, commitment, trust, knowledge, responsibility, and respect all coexist, as bell hooks stated. Our relationship with these things starts in infancy, and for some of us, we never receive them all. So, when one of these things is lacking in our lives, we try to replace it with romance. Both men and women treat romantic relationships like opportunities for redemption - a chance to fill a void - an opportunity to be saved. But, romantic relationships are so much more than that; they are simple, yet complex. They have the ability to uncover, create, and allow the true form of being. Let's get into it. ChoiceOne of my favorite songs is Int'l Players Anthem by UGK and Outcast. It's playing at my wedding; that's how much I love that song. But, on the subject of choice, the song is a rap rendition of the beauty of choice in romantic relationships. Let me remind you that love is a choice, and choosing a romantic partner - someone with whom to spend the rest of your life and create life with - is one of the most intimate and important decisions in your life. There is intense beauty in being chosen in this way. Many people long to feel chosen, whether it be due to the absence of some aspect of love or pure desire, men and women want to be chosen. The poetry of it all. One day, generations will talk about the love and romance that brought two people together who made a choice. With this choice, we see elements of love. We see responsibility. We see commitment. commitment Commitment in romantic relationships is unique because that is the one relationship that you are bound to by choice and choice only - unless you're in an arranged marriage (and in that case, I cannot help you!). When the love is true, commitment takes a new form. It goes beyond consistency. In true love, as bell explains, committed people are open to being changed, undone, seen, and exposed by their beloved. There is a certain level of vulnerability associated with allowing someone to truly see you and giving them permission to change you, but commitment in true love will bring the unbelievable out of people. This goes back to my earlier questions, who are we to each other in our dreams and when we wake up? Are we committed to taking the good and the bad? Commitment means being okay when the shoulders get cold or when the chicken wasn't taken out of the freezer in time, and that's because commitment trumps any sense of minor discomfort. It's that major. Ask yourself -> Do I love you because you exist? It is conditional or is it connection? connectionConnection is my favorite. In romantic relationships, we are sometimes drawn to people and we have no idea why. We weren't looking for them - they just appeared. We didn't ask them to "check all the boxes" - they just did. But, I think that's it. Sometimes we are just meant to be connected, and souls in love will find each other. There are heart connections, and there are soul connections, according to bell. Heart connections aren't difficult to make. With connections of the heart, we're attracted to things like their style, the way they think, and of course the way they look. Heart connections allow us to "appreciate those we love just as they are". Can love come from a heart connection? Absolutely. With soul connections, there is a deeper level of connection and mutual recognition - we see them and love them for who they could be and who we could become under their influence. It's like saying, "I trust my connection to you. I trust what our connection can become and what it can bring". sweet loveRomantic relationships are the most unique. These bonds are formed through choice, not duty or obligation. Who are we to each other? What does embarking on love with you mean for me? Am I safe here? Am I seen here? Am I heard here? No matter how stubborn we are about romantic love, we all want it. We know true love exists, and we know that anything that doesn't feel right feels like settling. I don't think I have enough words to describe romantic love as I see it. I know it's suffocating but in a good way. It's tender. It's sweet. Romantic love is about the intangible - the things you can't see, but you feel so deeply. As long as we are afraid of these feelings, we will struggle to know love. So, feel. |
AuthorI write. I blog. I research. I read. Thoughts are obviously my own. <3 Archives
May 2024
Categories |