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I THINK, THEREFORE I BLOG. THOUGHTS ARE OBVIOUSLY MY OWN.
Before you get it twisted, this isn't what you think it is. It's not a glory story. There isn't some fancy thing in my life I'm going to discuss. This is a real-life account of my experience with Chapter 4 and how I became a victim. I survived, and I'm here to tell my story. Whoohoo! You passed your proposal defense! Time to do the "easy" part; just collect the data. Okay, here we go. ME: Hey, Chapter 4, I just dropped those other chapters off. I'm on my way. You ready? FOUR: Hey girl! I'm ready. Call me when you pull up. ME: Ok, cool! (blasts Broke x Ari Lennox on the way to Chapter 4's house) ME: (Phone Rings) Hey, Four! I'm here. FOUR: Okay, give me ONE second. Let me finish putting my lashes on. ME: Girl, don't start. You know we have to be at the function by a certain time. FOUR: Girl, don't rush me. (Dial Tone) This is the simplest way for me to explain my interaction with Chapter Four. Four taught me patience. For sure. I didn't understand why Chapter 4 was such a monster. Like, how DARE Four hang up in my face like that? Being all negative. I conducted qualitative research, and I love to talk, but it seemed like I was saying and doing everything totally WRONG. My participants were great, but was I talking too much? What I thought would be thirty minute interviews were full on 60 minute sessions. In retrospect, I'm so happy about that. At the time, I thought I was "doing it wrong". In the midst of trying to find my way in data collection, Covid-19 crept up in the party. Like huh? How am I supposed to handle this? It appeared that the difficulties of Chapter 4 would continue. It felt like one blow came after another. How was I supposed to reach people during such a challenging time? See, I knew better. Four and her friends being all negative. While Four was taking all day with her lashes, I found ways to work while I waited. I built the frame for the chapter so that inserting data would be easier. I created profiles for my participating institutions and a table for participants while I "waited in the car". I also took time to comb through my first three chapters to change the tense of my work and add new content that would improve the quality of my document. Work smarter! Not harder! Four couldn't have thought I was just sitting in the car doing NOTHING. Just as I was about to pick up my phone and call Four, here she comes waltzing down the steps with gifts in hand. Ms. "I was putting on my lashes" was in the house being extra. She brought me STELLAR participants. They truly added value to my study; I felt like they gave me everything I needed. There was so much diversity in the thought process and descriptions of their encounters. It was like divine intervention once she came to the car - my thoughts and ideas started to come together and my spirit was able to calm. I wasn't expecting that AT ALL. Four also brought a magical pen. Who doesn't love a nice pen? Once I used it, my writing became top tier. I was shocking myself, like girl? That's you? Sounding all scholarly? That was good. Before we could get to the function, I had to share my experience with Four. Who did I reach out to? My advisor. After getting positive feedback, I felt so much better about my experience. I could breathe. Don't get me wrong. I cried - A LOT. I mean, I really cried. Sobbed at 2am. Sobbed again over my laptop at 7pm. I just didn't understand the process while it was happening. Now that it's over, it makes all the sense in the world. One thing Four taught me was that everyone's experience is different, so I don't have a load of tips for you here. One thing I can say is TRUST THE PROCESS. BLESS UP.
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BEFORE Okay, so before I get into the good stuff, let me explain a few things for my readers who are not familiar with the Ph.D. proposal process and for those who had different experiences than my own. I'm a Ph.D. candidate in an accelerated Executive Ph.D. program - there are many of its kind so this experience was truly unique. The way the program is structured, students complete coursework while working on their document simultaneously! (Some people identify this document as a prospectus, proposal, or thesis.) It includes the first three chapters of the document - Introduction, Literature Review, and Research Methodology. My program definitely gives me "Right of Passage" vibes; as students, we identify our documents as proposals until they are defended and accepted, then we are allowed to call them a dissertation. Okay so, BOOM! My research study focuses on African American online learners and the factors that are associated with their attrition by looking at the perceptions of faculty. Prior to my proposal defense, I thought my research made the most sense. I studied other researchers. I combed through my literature review and methodology. My advisor was affirming in that I wouldn't defend my proposal until I was for sure ready. The perfectionist in me studied my document for weeks before my defense date. I made note cards, typed pointers out on an HP and a MAC (that I planned to use during the defense), and recited my "speech" to other people, and put myself on a ten minute timer. BUT LISTEN! DURING On October 23, 2019 I walked into that building nervous as hell. I knew I prepared, but I was still my usual nervous self. Somebody once told me nerves are a good thing. Huh? Caresha PLEASE! I was scared! To make matters worse, my advisor called me into his office maybe about 30 minutes before my defense. Everything I planned to say - no ma'am. Scratch that. I panicked for the next thirty minutes and all during my defense because, honey, I wasn't sure I said or did anything right. TRANSPARENCY. I have five committee members, all of who were present during my defense either physically or by telephone. I watched other defenses before, and I figured mine would last about thirty to forty-five minutes. Boy, was I wrong. I did my ten minute turned three minute introduction and my advisor opened the floor for questions. The more I heard their voices posing questions, the hotter the room got. I had on a forest green suit and pink silk tank - I felt like I was wearing a target. It wasn't all BAD! I'm just dramatic, but it still wasn't perfect. The beauty in that is that it didn't have to be. After I calmed myself down, looked at my mom (who was sitting at the other end of the table for moral support), I figured this defense was to prepare me to defend my own research and polish my document. I understood every recommendation. I was able to respond to their propositions with scholarly evidence and ideas. I walked into that room a dissertation student, and I walked out a candidate. That is what matters the most. AFTER Once my defense was over, I met with my advisor. He came to shake my hand and tell me I did a good job. My defense lasted over an hour ya'll. I felt like it was trash, and my advisor saw otherwise. THANK GOD! I was off to prepare my paperwork for IRB (Institutional Review Board) to accept my study. I got to formally put my committee members on paper. I was one step closer to obtaining that Ph.D. I was "early" in my trajectory, which I felt like gave my cushion just in case! I was doing it - the unthinkable. At 26. 5 Tips for Your Proposal Defense
1. Develop a Strong Literature Review: This should be a given, but if its not, this is the most important thing you can do. Your literature review supports claims made in your Chapter 1 like the Statement of the Problem and Purpose of the Study. When in doubt, refer to other refereed scholars who have data that can help support your research theory and claims. 2. Remove Your Feelings: It can get ugly! Do not become so attached to your document that you take it personally when receiving critique. Your committee, whether you choose them are not, are respected in academic. They know and see things you can't. It's not personal. Its about the document. Trust me. 3. Prepare: I prepared by studying the content I wrote, but also challenging myself to consider what other people might think when they hear my topic. This re-framing of thought helps to prepare you for questions from your committee that aren't directly related to something you wrote, but the validity or purpose of your study in general. 4. Alignment: It has to make sense. From page 1 to page 200. Your research questions should align with your framework. Your framework should be evident in your methodology. Its like finding peace among the pieces. 5.Your Attitude Determines Your Latitude: This was cute. I learned it from Kanye West, but it holds true. I've witnessed people literally DEFEND their document and it did not end well. Your attitude towards your research and the academicians at the table can significantly impact your trajectory. Start with yourself - CHECK YOURSELF! Pride and entitlement won't get it done. Humble yourself or the process will humble you. Bless Up. |
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May 2024
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