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I THINK, THEREFORE I BLOG. THOUGHTS ARE OBVIOUSLY MY OWN.
Hi. You've reached the pedestal. I bet you're wondering how you got here. I'm almost certain someone else placed you. Welcome. You are not alone.
The pedestal is an interesting place to be. We were so delicately placed here by someone to be seen, admired, adorned, or some other intangible act. Do we like the pedestal? Maybe. It affords us respect and admiration. At the same time, it requires a role to be played and a certain path to be followed, or we are no longer able to have our seat at the pedestal table. It can be a tiring place, but heavy is the head. The weird thing about pedestals is that those who are placed there can benefit from the privilege associated with the seat, but can also suffer from feeling unseen from those who look on. Do they really see us beyond the pedestal? Are we allowed to exist in a truthful way? - Hardly ever to the people who placed us here, it seems. Someone placed us here. They've created this idea of who we are and how we should exist in this world. They give us what they think we need based on this idea in their minds. Our needs are hardly ever met by these people. Life can feel unreal with them. At the same time, the people who placed us here give us a certain feeling of value or respect, and we need that at times. To feel like someone thinks highly of us and respects how we think - they have the ability to make us feel like there's somewhere we belong. The pedestal is similar to perfection. Perfection is like a double entendre. While it may be nice to hear someone say "that was perfect" or "you're perfect" it is sometimes exhausting to live in that light in fear of the day perfect is no longer the default adjective. If you are here because you, too, have been placed on a pedestal, I see you. It is my hope that you find a safe space for vulnerability so that you can exist without the seat. It is equally my hope that, if you're happy here, you can maintain that feeling. Do we like the pedestal? Maybe.
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Hey ya'll! It's been a minute. I last updated my blog on August 3, 2021. In having a conversation with my mom, she was like "When is the last time you blogged?" and it registered to me like "Wow, girl, you've been busy!" So, this blog is going to be an ode to 20-twenty-won and everything (kinda) she brought with her. When I was thinking about how I would recap the year, I kept coming up with titles that just didn't seem to fit. It was giving corny and cliché. I ended up receiving a Christmas gift that ignited my inner creative. "Wow, girl, you've been busy!" I love to write, as I'm sure you can tell, so this gift was literally perfect. In my gift basket, I found a pack of pens and some new journals. Two things that make me happy. The three pens each had a different word etched on them, "Grit. Grace. Gratitude." That's it! That's the title! The journals were decorated in deep and warm colors, and the artwork resembled that of a woman. I was intrigued. To add icing on the cake, the products were designed and made by black women. So, as an ode to my year, where I'm going, and what I love, this blog has been titled after a gift I received from a black woman, that was created by black women, and that makes me happy. grit.2021 started off rough. At the top of the year, I was dealing with some major grief. Three weeks into January, I was in Atlanta for a close friend's birthday and received an early morning call that Covid had taken the life of one of my loved ones. What a way to make an entrance 2021. Even with everything going on, I wanted to make sure that I matured in my grieving process, and that I understood that grief can look differently. After all, I had learned about the complexity of grief after not being able to walk across the stage as a newly minted doctor due to Covid. I'm no stranger to loss. Covid took a lot of things from me. In addition to the grief I was experiencing, I was still fairly new at my job. Having just started five months prior, I was still getting acclimated, trying to make a good impression, and working to demonstrate my value. Pouring myself into my work may have been a coping mechanism. I am often the most creative when I'm experiencing chaos. One of the most beautifully difficult concepts about life that is hard to understand, yet comforting to know, is that life goes on. There was so much that I had in mind, so I reclaimed my year and learned to give myself a little grace along the way. grace.I don't know about you, but I'm one of God's favorites. "I mean, come on." After experiencing loss, God still put me in a place of reception. Opportunities came. Maybe too many, though. Either that or I struggle to say "No". I found myself leading major projects at work, accepting a partnership with a colleague on a research article (my first ever!), and expanding my umbrella of talents. I secretly call myself "Jane of All Trades" like Ms. Keep a Job Keke Palmer. Saying "Yes" kept me busy and fulfilled, but to whom much is given, much is required. Ya'll know that. I threw my own equilibrium off. If I'm working, do I still have time for the gym? If I'm at the gym, am I still able to get these projects done? Do I have time to date if my passion projects are getting all of my extra attention? I mean ya girl was literally all over the place. [ I made it look cute and easy tho! ] It was in all of this chaos and activity that I learned to give myself grace. I am very much a "do it all" kinda person. As I'm sure some of you all are too. I had to tell myself, "You did the best you could" and "it's okay to rest". The biggest lesson I probably learned was that it's okay to mess up - cus baby I don't mess up! LOL - but even if I do, that's okay. Your value doesn't diminish after a mistake. I learned how unhealthy it was to work without grace in the gas tank. So my challenge to you is to give yourself permission to rest, pig out, skip the gym, miss the party, lay around on the couch, and whatever else you need in the name of grace. "I don't know about you, but I'm one of God's favorites." gratitude.I had about five major projects this year, and one was work-related. All of them involved writing, graphics, marketing, and social media. I'm a career educator with an array of talents, but I still felt a little novice as I worked on all of these projects. The more I worked, the more people inquired. It took other people to tell me what I was good at because I was so adamant about the title "educator", and I struggled to see beyond that. After a leap of faith and trusting my abilities, I pretty much turned myself into an entrepreneur this year on accident. I finally got to a point where I was like "Girl, enough!" You're good at what you're good at, and your gifts will continue to make room for you as they have. I'm grateful for the gifts I have that have made room for me and others. I'm grateful to those who continue to pour into me, especially at times when I don't even know I need it. I'm grateful to people who trust me, my talents, and judgement. I'm grateful for every opportunity to be in a space that is uplifting, inspiring, and challenging. I'm grateful to God for making it all happen. I'm grateful that I stopped playing with my own abilities and took those leaps of faith. I can't wait to share what's coming! 28.This year, I turned 28. Going into the year, I vowed to do things with intention, protect my peace, and just overall move differently. My birthday was really a shift for me, and I wanted to close out this blog noting that. For the first time ever, I invited my mom to join me for my birthday festivities. I went to Miami with her and two of my greatest friends and had the time of my life. I never felt more present. Even though the year was not nearly over in August, I felt like my birthday was a culmination of all the grit and grace that brought me to a space of gratitude. I was surrounded by people who love me purely and deeply. I was watching God's creations rise and rest. I was cruisin' the Biscayne Bay like the baddie I am. I was engulfed in culture, cuisine, and cocktails. I really just felt so full, like I was living the life I deserve. So, here's to more of that in the next year for you and for me too! P.S. I'm 28 now, so that makes me an OG. I don't make the rules! 2022, come in here and act like you got some sense! Want to check out the journals I was raving about? Click the "Shop" button below and support HerSpaceCo. If you haven't already, follow me on Instagram to stay updated on my journey. Thanks for spending time with me.
Xoxo, Ari A lot can happen in a year. A lot did happen in a year. Today, August 3, 2021 marks one successful year in my new role. I transitioned from the classroom and into higher education. I am most thankful to God and my village for the journey and everything I have learned along the way. I was in quite the different space last year. I dealt with uncertainty, imposture syndrome, anxiety, and a host of other things. As I celebrate this year of self-belief and new-found happiness, I want to share something from my prayer journal that resonates. July 5, 2020God,
I am entering a new phase in my life, I'm sure you know. You have brought me through unthinkable times and have blessed me to reach this point. I am overjoyed, and my heart is filled with gratitude. You didn't have to choose me, but you did. Thank you. God, I am declaring these things as your will and asking that they be done. See me through a smooth transition in my career. God, I am asking that you calm my spirit and provide me with the confidence to excel in my upcoming interview. Lord, I am asking that you provide an increase in salary by at least $10,000 [redacted]. God, put me in a position so that I can continue to be of service in the field of education, something my heart desires. Allow me the ability to live comfortably and not create a financial burden on my parents or grandmother. Lord, they say in order to go places you've never been, you have to do things you've never done. I have faith that you will provide. I'm ready Lord. Amen. |
AuthorI write. I blog. I research. I read. Thoughts are obviously my own. <3 Archives
May 2024
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